"Adultery is a big-engine issue, one of the biggest confronting a marriage. Like all major confrontations, adultery seems simple from a distance. It presents as a single-celled organism – Don’t! – and then evolves into a more complex creature over time: What are the reasons for cheating? How do you resist? Why should you? Why shouldn’t you? Where did our passion go?"
"This chapter should come with a caveat. Romanticizing adultery seems an unfair thing to do, but the truth is that it can be transformational on every level. It answers something we crave in our regularly coupled lives and cannot get in the same continuous measure – passion, inspiration, even a ration of joy. At least in the beginning, affairs are like a blast of pure oxygen."
On the other man
"There are people whom you might have loved and did not get to, and they linger in your mind as cast-off pieces of kindling for you to strike yourself against later in life. This man ghosted the more poignant moments of my regret, hanging over them, whispering, You should have. You should have. I always thought there would be more time to decide about him."